Some nerves before a big test are normal and even helpful. They sharpen focus. Anxiety becomes a problem when it stops your child from sleeping, enjoying things or showing what they know. The most effective help usually comes from home: realistic practice, calm language that focuses on effort, and a predictable routine.
Normal nerves or something more?
| Normal nerves | Worth paying closer attention to |
|---|---|
| Butterflies the night before or on the morning | Worry most days, for weeks |
| A bit quieter or more irritable in test week | Regular trouble sleeping |
| Questions like "What if I don't know an answer?" | Stomach aches or headaches before practice |
| Settles once the test starts | Avoiding practice, or tears whenever the test is mentioned |
| Bounces back afterwards | Saying things like "I'm stupid" or "I'll fail anyway" |
If you see several signs in the right-hand column, ease off preparation and talk to your child's teacher, school counsellor or GP.
Where the pressure comes from
For many children, it's less about the test and more about:
- fear of disappointing parents
- comparison with friends, siblings or cousins
- not knowing what to expect on the day
- feeling that everything depends on one morning
Most of these are things parents can change.
What helps
1. Make the test familiar. The unknown is scarier than the hard. Timed practice in the real format, including the computer-based layout for NSW tests, takes away much of the surprise. The NSW Department of Education's free practice tests use the real test software.
2. Praise effort and strategy, not scores. "You stuck with that hard question" builds confidence. "You're so smart" can make a child afraid of losing the label.
3. Keep it in proportion. Say it plainly: "This is one way into one kind of school. There are lots of good paths, and we'll be proud of you either way."
4. Protect the routine. Sport, play, friends and sleep should carry on as normal. They're what keep children steady.
5. Teach a calming tool. Slow breathing works well for children: breathe in through the nose for four counts, out through the mouth for six, and repeat three times. Practise it at home so it's automatic on the day.
6. Plan for the hard question. Agree on a script: "If I'm stuck, I make my best guess, flag it and move on." Having a plan makes the moment less frightening.
7. Watch your own nerves. Children read their parents closely. Try to keep test talk calm and brief, especially in the last week.
What to avoid
- Talking about the test constantly
- Comparing your child's scores with other children's
- "Everything depends on this"
- Cramming in the final week
- Promising big rewards for an offer, which raises the stakes further
The last week and test day
- Last week: light review only. Normal bedtime.
- Night before: pack everything, then do something relaxing together. No practice.
- Morning: a familiar breakfast and plenty of time. Arrive early, but not so early that waiting builds nerves.
- At the door: keep it simple. "Do your best. I'll be here after." Then go.
- Afterwards: don't ask for a question-by-question replay. Ask how they felt and do something nice.
When to get extra support
Talk to your GP, your child's school counsellor or a psychologist if anxiety:
- lasts for weeks or affects sleep, eating or school
- shows up in situations beyond tests
- doesn't ease when you reduce the pressure
Kids Helpline is free and open 24/7 for children and young people on 1800 55 1800.
If your child has a diagnosed condition or disability, NSW families can request reasonable adjustments for the selective and OC tests when applying. The deadline for 2028 entry is 15 February 2027.
Free 12-week prep planner
Want a plan you can print and stick on the fridge? Our free 12-week test prep planner has the four phases, weekly hours, a weekly planner page, a mistake log and a test-day checklist. Get the free planner and we'll email it to you.
Related guides
- How many hours a week to prepare
- When to start OC preparation
- Supporting your child through selective exam preparation
- How to talk to your child after results
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal for my child to be nervous before the selective test? Yes. Some nerves are normal and can even help focus. They become a concern if they last for weeks or affect sleep, mood or daily life.
How can I calm my child before a test? Keep the routine normal, practise a breathing technique together beforehand, keep test talk brief and positive, and focus on effort rather than results.
Should I keep preparing if my child is anxious? Reduce the amount and keep sessions short and positive. If anxiety stays high, pause and talk to your child's school or GP.
General information only, not medical advice. Reasonable adjustments deadline from the NSW Department of Education, application process (page updated 27 October 2026).